Your Friday-ly Dose of... Raptor Jesus!

Genesis 1: In the beginning, there was nothing, and then Raptor Jesus roundhouse kicked that nothing and told it to get a job created the Earth. Just the Earth.


Raptor Jesus than worked his buttocks off for 7 6 days and made a bunch of lulzy stuff like aminals and aminal crackers and humans and Young Earth Creationists (they're not human) and sidewalks. Raptor Jesus saw that it was good, but even though he thought it was good, he thought he'd do the same thing again, but different this time, in Genesis 2.


Genesis 2: In the beginning, Raptor Jesus, made the Earth (just the Earth) again. Raptor Jesus felt like ribs, so he took one of the man's ribs, and somehow the first woman was made, i dunno. Raptor Jesus was happy this time, and was content in his splendiferous creation.


Yes, this will be a regular thing. Feedback is appreciated!